I always hate calling people because I'm afraid I'm going to catch them at a bad time or bother them, but I'm never shy about praying. I pray for big things and little things, abstract things and concrete things, things for my life and things for others' lives. If it bothers me I pray about it.
One thing that does make me wonder, though, is how I know if my prayer has been answered. I rarely pray for concrete outcomes - mostly when I or someone I know is faced with a challenge I just pray, "Please help everyone through this time," or "Let everything turn out the best way it can." Since things usually turn out okay I just assume God was helping everyone through it. The thing that trips me up is when I pray for guidance. How do I know what to do?
When I was younger, like a teenager, I would occasionally pray very fervently for guidance. And after that I would sometimes feel a very strong...inclination, I guess you would say. Like I had a hunch about what I was praying about. I knew what I had to do.
Now when I pray for guidance I sometimes feel a hunch...but it's also usually an issue that I've thought about, asked others about, and heard opinions about. I can never tell if my hunch is what God wants me to do, what my friends or family wants me to do, or just plain what I want to do. I can't tell what's making me decide the things I decide.
When I was younger I kept to myself quite a bit, so there were usually thorny problems* that I discussed only with myself and God. Now I have good friends and a wonderful husband to bounce ideas off of, which is great...but it does cause more interference. Or maybe it's a lack of earnestness...I don't do much down-on-my-knees, crying, I-don't-know-what-to-do type of praying anymore. Or maybe it's some other failing on my part. Maybe if I was a better Catholic I'd be able to discern God's will more readily and know what He wants me to do.
This sort of thing doesn't come up daily, but it does come up when I start thinking about things like natural family planning. If I don't figure out how to be more receptive soon I'm going to have to stop praying, "Please help me to know the right thing to do," and start praying, "Please let me stumble into the right thing somehow."
* Thorny to an emotional, hormonal teenager anyway :)
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2 comments:
perhaps the difference in praying is that you're more mature and have more life experience. i mean, when one is a teenager, problems are definitely the thorny type you talk of. as adults, there's recognition that life is not so polar and that events aren't always so dramatic and dire as they seem as when we're younger.
i'm sure there will be times when the desperation prayers will be needed, but because of experience, the support of friends and family, they will be less frequent and perhaps, less severe.
Well, dykewife, I would disagree, to a point. The truly desperate times are far MORE difficult as an adult, as they frequently involve situations not of our choosing or within our control. Of course, Danulai, we all pray that those situations will not visit you as an adult, but if they do, God will remain near, even if you don't get a semi-clear indication of what to do.
My personal example: When my older daughter was 11 years old, she was almost killed by a terrible (somewhat rare) disease. Was I desperate? Damn straight I was. Did I pray? Constantly. I did hear the Lord's voice, but all it said to me was "Peace". Nothing I could do, and I didn't know what that voice really meant--I should be at peace with her death? She will live, so be at peace? Thankfully, she survived and is now a very healthy, recently married, 23 year old with a very fine husband, a good education, and a good career in front of her. (Thanking God for giving her life, not once, but twice, is still my most frequent prayer.)
I find this blog fascinating. I read it often, but I think this is the first time I've ever commented. God bless you and your husband as you continue your walk with Him.
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