Adultery, Take Two!

I've been thinking more about my friend and her quest to sleep with our engaged coworker. At first I thought my discomfort was coming from the fact that I wasn't encouraging her to follow a better path, but that's not quite it (in case you haven't guessed, introspection is not my strong suit). However, my discomfort does involve my religion...just in a different way.

Before I said that I was afraid that my lack of outright objection was being read as approval, or at least acceptance of her plan. I feel like the kid on the playground who's watching another kid get bullied, but just stands there instead of going over and saying, "Knock it off!"

But what if I do tell her to knock it off? When she says, "Why?" what do I have left to say?

Because I think it's wrong?

And she'll just say, "Your religion thinks it's wrong. And I'm not Catholic."

Being religious puts you in a position of having people think that your only beliefs are your religious beliefs. They think that you don't have any moral codes and ideas of good and evil other than what your church teaches you.

In this case I think that most people, whether Catholic, Jewish, Pagan, Atheist, or something else, would think it's pretty uncool to be horning in (ahem) on someone else's fiance.

But it's pretty hard to have an ethics-centered-but-religion-free discussion when the person you're conversing with assumes your every thought is based on your faith. Or maybe I'm still too much that kid who's afraid to stand up to the bully.

I still want to persuade her not to go through with it. I keep framing it in ways she'll accept ("Karma's gonna be a bitch on this one!") and pointing out the practical problems ("So what if he sleeps with you, falls for you, breaks off his engagement, and you're not interested. How awkward would that be? And you work together! Good luck with that!"). It's really a bad idea for everyone concerned.

The nice thing about being Catholic is that although it is tough to talk ethics in public, you can still pray about it in private. I just want everyone to come out of this okay.